Speed Limit in Britain Raised!
Finally, after many years, automobile advocates have successfully sponsored a bill, which the queen signed into law yesterday, raising the speed limit in the United Kingdom!
After 15 years of extensive research, government officials decided that the extra loss of life associated with the increased speed limits would be minimal and more than offset by the economic benefits. Nonetheless, Diana Longbottom is spearheading RSLN (Reduce the Speed Limit Now) a campaign to return the speed limit back to old levels.
Despite that, the law passes into effect on Monday. At that point cars will be allowed to race down the motorway at 35 miles an hour, up from the old 25! Yeah, baby!
(Image, Rmhermen.)
Stoat Water: Now Available in America!
I’m delighted to say that after much negotiation with the federal government, I have received a licence to import Stoat Water into the USA! I will shortly be setting up a website and you will be able to have it shipped straight to your door!
Stoats are delicious, especially when juiced.
What is Stoat Water? It’s the original soda. Created in 1688 to celebrate the accession of William and Mary to the throne in the wake of the Glorious Revolution, stoat juice was fermented for several months. As well as having a delicious taste, people were amazed to discover that stoat juice was naturally fizzy. This made it the world’s first carbonated, non-alcoholic beverage.
In Britain we used to reserve it for special occasions because stoat juice was an expensive commodity, but since the 1960s and the advent of synthetic stoat juice we drink it with almost every meal. And now you can too! Don’t forget to place your order for Twisting the Spanner Brand Stoat Juice today!
(Image, Howcheng.)
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Meryl Streep’s Iron Lady Inaccuracies
When it was revealed Meryl Streep would be playing Margaret Thatcher in a movie adaptation of the Iron Lady’s life, I was overjoyed. Who better, I thought, than Streep to portray her?
What bothers me, though, are the blatant historical inaccuracies in the movie. For instance:
- Not once does Thatcher’s head rotate 360 degrees while spewing vomit as was known to happen frequently.
- Thatcher is never shown eating cabbage. She is known as a cabbage-oholic, eating it whenever she can. Especially during times of stress.
- The infamous attempted exorcism by members of her cabinet in 1988, as soon as they realised she was possessed by the devil, is completely omitted from the movie.
Sadly, because of these, I feel I cannot recommend this movie.
(Image source.)
Posted in British News, British People | 
Tags: British, Meryl Streep, movies, Thatcher | 
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What does “Auld Lang Syne” really mean?
It’s a staple of New Year’s celebrations the world over, but what does the song “Auld Lang Syne” really mean? Code-breakers struggled for years to decipher Robert Burns cryptic message.
It was under the twin influences of Robert Burn's Auld Lang Syne and Scottish Nationalism that Micky Dolenz was inspired to form The Monkees.
It was only in the 1960s–two hundred years after Burns wrote the poem–that scholars finally worked it out. If you make a recording and play it backwards it’s a secret song of Scottish nationalism and a call to arms to throw the English out. For example, it begins:
Here we come, walking down the street,
Get the funniest looks from every Sassanach we meet.
Hey hey, we’re Scottish,
And people say we’re too Scottish,
But we’re too busy being Scottish,
To put anybody down.
Now get out of our country you English buggers!
After reading an article about this, renowned scholar and drummer, Micky Dolenz was inspired to form the band The Monkees and write their signature song based on these lyrics.
It’s for this reason that it’s traditional for Scots to watch marathons of old episodes of The Monkees at this time of year.
(Image, David Shankbone.)
Posted in British Traditions, Uncategorized | Tags: British, New Year, Robert Burns, Scottish, The Monkees | 2 Comments »
The British Origins of the Christmas Tree
Many readers have written to me asking if the Christmas Tree originated in Britain. I’m delighted to report that, of course it did!
From medieval England to the Rockefeller Center, the Christmas Tree is a reminder of the British origin of, well, almost everything.
In 1297, during the reign of Richard II, there was a particularly harsh winter. It was so cold that everyone was afeared that all the trees would die. Where would they get their fruit from in the summer if they were all dead?
So people took to chopping down trees and bringing them inside for the winter so the cold wouldn’t kill them. And so a Christmas tradition was born.
It was only in the mid 20th century, after lengthy investigation by scientists, that the British discovered that the mass die-off of trees every winter was not because of the cold but because they kept cutting them down.
(Image, James G. Howes.)
Boxing Day: An explanation of this British Tradition
Americans are often perplexed by Boxing Day, which is what the British call the day after Christmas. Where does the name come from? What does it mean and why?
Muhammed Ali, here being asked how he feels to be the man with the fists that created Boxing Day.
Well, it all dates back to 1974 when Muhammed Ali came to Britain to fight against British champion Henry Cooper in what would become known as “The Rumble in Dagenham”. Originally scheduled for Christmas Eve, Henry Cooper lost track of time and it was held on December 26.
So important was this event in raising Britain’s international profile, that we decided to commemorate the day each and every year. Many feel encouraged to take up boxing at this time, and so it’s often referred to as “The Most Violent Day of the Year”!
Henry Cooper went out TKO shortly after the first round began.
(Image, Marylandstater.)
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